Writing Prompt: Dating as an Older Person
In 2005, I met Bob — he was 57, and I was 45. The internet magically made our match on a dating website. Before I met him, a string of fellows wandered onto my list of matches. Coffees, lunches, dinners. Ho-hum. One-offs mostly.
Rejects included those incapable of spelling or unable to construct an interesting sentence. I enjoyed being the arbiter of good communication … sure saved me a lot of time. A lot of time.
Kiss a bunch of frogs, and all that. But there was no kissing, I promise. Being older makes us feel wiser, and sadly a bit more eager sometimes. But as Anne Lamott said, “No is a complete sentence.”
Twelve years older than me, Bob crafted a succinct profile. He was seeking someone with a business mind, but his search parameters excluded women below the age of 47. Had to choose a range, right? (He got extra points from me for not having the selected the 30–40 age range. That was all too common! And ridiculous, says judge-y me.)
I had an MBA, so I checked the business box. My preferred age range captured his profile, so it was up to me to make the first move. I can barely remember how it all worked, but I suppose I “winked” at him.
After almost a year of winks and messages from strangers, I finally met the man who’d become my most darling husband, Bob.
Our first date was attending a British car show. We had dinner afterwards at Cracker Barrel — not a favorite of mine. (I learned years later through friends of his that he’d owned stock in the company. Quite typical of him… and that business devotion still makes me giggle.)
We married four years later. I suggested going to the courthouse, but he wanted to do the whole thing up.
I think what I liked most about dating “as an older person” was dropping the pretense fairly quickly. Maybe we were too old to fake it — it takes so much energy. And for what purpose if you’re seeking a partner for life?
Get real, be real! That’s true relationship magic. The best way to find a perfect match, that’s for sure.